the big reveal

Aaaaahhhhh.

That's the sound of my relief.

One of the things that I have been struggling with throughout this process was the question of how/when to tell my manager that I was planning to adopt a child. For context, you should know the following: 1) while I have worked for the same company for over 4 years, I've been in my current role for less than a year; 2) my "team" (and my manager) is actually located overseas and I am one of only 2 people in our group in the US (as well as being responsible for the region); and 3) my company has an extraordinary maternity leave package of 16 weeks plus flex-time upon return (and it applies to adoptions too! yes - I feel very, very lucky). So with those things (and a few others) in mind, I have been a bit concerned about sharing this news, as I did not want to disappoint my manager, who seems to have big plans for the upcoming year. I hate to say it, but I've also been a bit worried that if I spoke up too soon, I'd find myself being treated differently (i.e. not in a good way) and passed over for promotion, bonus, and other opportunities.... I know that this is not really likely, but it's been running through my mind.

As a result, I've been battling in my mind the question of "what is the right thing to do?" I wanted to give enough notice to ensure that we can plan for my departure, but not so much that people start to write me off as someone who won't be around to see things through. It's not like pregnancy where you can predict when you will be bringing your child home.

Well, as things would have it, my manager decided a few weeks ago to come into NY this week and I decided that I would take the opportunity to tell her. After all, I would much rather have the chance to speak to her in person than share this over the phone.

And today was the day.

So I walked into her office armed with my speech about my plans to set things in order before I take leave... to be available during my time off... to volunteer for weekly meetings/calls while I'm out... blah, blah, blah....

And you know what? She didn't even ask about any of that. As soon as I said the words that my husband and I were planning to adopt, she went full speed ahead into a litany of questions about the process and what brought us to the decision. She was lovely (of course, I should have expected this, as she has always been great to me). I really felt so relieved. And it feels so good to have this off my chest. I'm not good at lying or hiding things and that's what I've felt like I've been doing for the last couple of months.

Anyhow, I know we will still have to discuss plans for my leave at some point (I'm honestly not sure that part has hit her yet). But it's so nice to know that I can discuss our adoption plans more openly and freely and feel supported at work.

How great is that?