still working...

When we first got the news that we had been given a court date prior to the court closure, I felt like everything was in overdrive, moving at warp speed. We were so unprepared for that news - literally. No crib, no clothes... no diapers, bottles, wipes, highchair... pretty much nothing ready for Baby A's arrival. (don't get me wrong, we were beyond thrilled - just a bit overwhelmed too)

We immediately got started on baby preparations: cleaning out the to-be nursery (see post below), ordering a crib, bedding, clothes, making lists of everything we need... Dare I say it was almost (almost) as though things were suddenly moving too quickly??

Well, have no fear, after a blissful 48 hours or so, the past couple of weeks have been painfully slow and filled with a new kind of anxiety. August 5th feels like it is an eternity away. And the lack of movement for many of the families waiting for their cases to be finalized continues to frustrate, sadden, disappoint, and even scare me a bit. With the courts set to close on August 8 for about two months, we don't have much room for error.

I've said it before: this is a crazy process, an emotional roller coaster, one of the greatest challenges we've ever taken on.

But we are pushing through and trying to stay positive. We are hopeful and continue to try to prepare ourselves and our home for Baby A's arrival.

The latest:


(since we expect to be moving in the next 6 months or so, we figured we'd try to keep it simple... not paint... but we've still got a few more "acres" to decorate)



bedding:





**Once again, I ask everyone to keep Jennifer & Jody in your thoughts. It's been a really tough few days for them.

transformation

While we continue to try to stay grounded and keep in mind the possibility that things will not go our way on August 5 ("try" being the operative word!), we also realize that, if things do go well... well then we have a lot (A LOT) to do and not a lot of time!

In other words, prior to learning about our court date, our preparations for baby A pretty much consisted of purchasing a stroller and a couple of stuffed animals. And that's about it. (Actually, it at one point also consisted of cleaning out the closet in the to-be-nursery, but let's just say that if you looked at the closet last week, you wouldn't believe that.)

Since then we've been on a baby shopping spree. Baby A is going to be one very cool, well-dressed kid, I tell you. We've started to order furniture and items for the nursery and to make lists of everything we need. We began the process of re-cleaning out the closet. And... we started to transform our "office" (in quotes because very little work actually gets done in said office) into a nursery fit for a king.

We started with this...


Then we had this...


and now we have this...


(yup that's baby A's crib, not yet put together and not including a mattress, because why would we think of buying a mattress when we bought the crib?? I told you we still had a lot to do!)

We will be giving away these...


Oh. And in our bedroom, where we once had this...


We now have this :(


Everything is changing... but definitely for the better!!


** Before I sign off for the night, I must send all my good wishes to Jennifer and Jody (you should too) who have a court date tomorrow. We can't wait to hear that the other baby A is officially their son!

court date express service!

This afternoon we were told that we've been assigned a court date of 8/5! Amazing.

more to come...

the rest of the weekend...

Friday:

4pm-ish... Ryan's home. Champagne opened. Pictures stared at. Phone calls and emails to family and friends.

8pm-ish... We realize we should probably have some food with our champagne. Tear ourselves away from computer to go grab a bite... but only after downloading photos to blackberries and phones so that we could sneak a few (or about 100) peaks during dinner.

11pm-ish... Arriving back home after dinner, we encounter two tourists taking pictures with a cop patrolling the area on a segway (yes, NYC cops patrol certain areas on segways). Wonder why guys do not ask Susan Sarandon, who is standing about two feet away, for her picture.

11:05pm-ish... Back home. More staring at pictures.

Saturday... My birthday!! Wake up happy. Get presents (as if I needed anything more). Stare at pictures. Decide that I want to buy an outfit for baby A. Find a couple cute shirts and some cargo pants. Also pick up Rockabye Baby CDs - Pink Floyd and the Eagles. Baby A will be hip!




EJ decides he would like to model baby A's new clothes:


8pm-ish... discover I cannot find my favorite little black dress. Anywhere. Last seen: St. Lucia. Could I seriously have left it there?? Love this dress. But still too happy to care about a dress. Even my favorite dress.

9:30pm... Birthday/Referral Celebration dinner at Chanterelle. We are happy!!!



Sunday... brunch with parents, who bring us an adoption memory book. We cannot wait to start filling in all the milestones in baby A's life and our journey to meet him.



Sunday night... still looking for little black dress. No sign of it. How is this possible? Ugh. But not as important as staring at pictures of baby A. We are in love...

the details

OK. Where to begin??

Well, as many of you know, those of us currently going through the adoption process have been experiencing delays and longer wait times than average. And as I've documented pretty well here, that has not always been easy. Last week we marked five months on the wait list. Since Gladney's estimated wait time for a referral had been 3-5 months with few exceptions over the past year or so, passing through that milestone hit hard. Especially since there was no new estimated timeframe to guide us. So as this week began, I was definitely struggling to keep my head up.

By Thursday, I was feeling so discouraged that I actually emailed Jessica (our caseworker) to modify our contact details. I gave all of Ryan's contact information as the primary way to reach us (my cell and work numbers had always been #1 and #2). By then, we were starting to hear some encouraging news, but I still just wanted to try to push the pain and anxiety of waiting for "the call" (and being disappointed every time the phone rang and it was not "the call") as far away as possible.

Enter Friday. I had decided to take the day off from work and made plans to meet Ryan for lunch. Of course, we spent the whole meal talking about the adoption, wondering how and when things would start moving for us... As we were wrapping up, I checked my email and saw an email from Gladney confirming that they would be making referrals that afternoon. I honestly think my heart stopped.

I was crazed thinking we might actually get "the call," and absolutely terrified that we would not.

Ryan had to go back to his office, but I did not really want to leave him. Even though I had planned on an indulgent afternoon (think manicure/pedicure/massage), I suddenly couldn't imagine being away from my phone. But, since Ryan works waaaaay uptown and we live waaaaay downtown, I also didn't want to get back on the subway for a 40 minute ride and wonder if I was missing our call. I wandered a bit and then decided that I needed to just go home.

And as soon as I got home, I started blog stalking to see if anyone had been called yet.... I didn't find anything.

About 15-20 minutes later (approx. 3pm), my cell phone rang and it was Ryan. My first thought was that he better know not to be calling me for anything other than referral news. He knew.

Somehow, Ryan was extremely calm even though I think my first words were not "hello" or "hey what's up," but rather "you better not be calling me unless we have our referral." I think I heard a muddled "so yeah" or something like that. To which I responded "we have it?" And I think I heard another "yeah." This went on for another round or two before Mr. Nonchalant made clear that Jessica had called and was just waiting for him to confirm I was available to speak so she could conference call us in together (I learned later that he was trying to stay calm and keep his voice down because he had been in a public area when he got the call). I told (yelled at?) him to go call her back - NOW! Thank goodness he is such a patient and understanding guy. I can be scary :)

Oh, and I think I told him he better be prepared to pack up and come home immediately after the call. You see, we had agreed that if we got our referral call when we were not together, we'd take the call and get the info, but we would NOT look at any pictures until we were together. Sounded like a reasonable plan at the time ;)

Anyway... we finally got on the phone with Jessica. Jessica told us all about our beautiful boy, who she described as "observant, calm and happy." I think she was as overjoyed to be finally giving referrals again as we were to receive one.

Ryan agreed to come home as soon as the call ended. And I took EJ for what felt like the longest, most-emotional, mind-racing walk ever to try to keep myself busy until Ryan made it home. I think I was literally counting the miliseconds.

About 45 minutes later, Ryan arrived, we popped open some champagne that we'd been saving for the occasion and spent the next few hours staring and marveling at this amazing child we hope will soon be our son.

So we are still crazed, over the moon, trying to absorb it all... very appreciative of all the wonderful comments, calls and emails we've received. This is a really special community of people.

But even as our hearts are full and our excitement high as things seem to be moving along for more families, our hearts still ache for those families who have endured these extra long waits along with us, but who did not receive good news yesterday. Please keep all of these families in your thoughts and share our wishes that they will have the news they so long for very, very soon.

best birthday ever!

It's true. We received "the call" and we have been referred a precious five month old boy.

Details to come soon (we promise!!).

we're still here

I know. I know. Our blogging activity has been less than stellar lately. Even EJ seems to be doing a better job keeping up with the blog than we are - and he's not even a fan of this whole adoption journey!!

As many of you know, we are experiencing delays right now in the process (and yes, that would be an understatement), so we haven't had very much to share. And because this has also proven to be a very emotionally challenging time, we haven't always wanted to share. But we are still here. And we are still thinking about all our fellow adoptive parents and the children who are waiting for them.

Anyway, it's not all doom and gloom.

We've mostly been enjoying the summer and trying to take advantage of the warm weather (think afternoons in the Park... walks along the Brooklyn Bridge... brunch at an outdoor cafe....). We also had the great pleasure of meeting Grace and John this past weekend (pic to come, my computer is not cooperating with me at the moment). They are so much fun to hang out with (we're hoping they really will move to NYC and be our neighbors!).

And one of us has a birthday coming up this weekend. Would it be too much to ask Gladney to give us a gift?? I have the perfect idea.... ;)

another week

By now, I've pretty much stopped counting the weeks since we were placed on the waitlist, as the passing of these weeks no longer seems to represent the fact that we are getting closer to a referral, so much as the fact that we have been waiting far longer than anticipated. I think we're at 21 or 22 weeks down now. Too many, if you ask me. Oh. And we exit the "window" this weekend.

But we are coping better these days. I guess you can get better at waiting if you have to do it long enough!!

Anyhow, I know I've been a bad blogger lately. I have to admit that detaching ourselves somewhat from the adoption process has been part of our coping mechanism. It's not that we've put our adoption out of our minds. I don't really want to do that and it wouldn't be possible, even if I did. But I'm actually pretty happy if I don't have to talk too much about it these days. Because... well... what more can I say?

So, we are throwing ourselves into other things (the hunt for a new apartment; a new travel venture...) and trying to make the most of this summer before it passes us by. And, hey, EJ is certainly enjoying the extra time as our only "child."