hiatus

I would like to thank everyone for the encouraging emails and comments.... It really does mean so much to us.

It has been a pretty tough week for me. Can't quite explain why this week seems to be worse than last. And hoping that next is better, but as I sit here today, well, I've got a knot in my stomach and tears in my eyes... and I can't shake the feeling that something is not quite right.

So I am taking a break. I don't really enjoy blogging or reading blogs much these days. I am genuinely thrilled and excited for those who have received their referrals lately, but I would be lying if I said that it was not also quite painful seeing everyone close to us on the waitlist receive their referrals (and, in fact, some waiting several weeks less than us), while we sit with no idea of why or when or what's going on...

Anyway....

The good news is that Ryan's sister arrives this morning for a long weekend visit and we've got some fun things planned. And then next week we will leave on a much needed vacation, although I am less than excited by the realization that I will probably be sitting on the beach, colorful cocktail in hand, with my blackberry and cell phone within reach and adoption on my mind - not exactly what I was looking for. Oh well.

And with that... signing off for a bit.

:(

I feel somewhat at a loss for words these days.

I'd like to post happy, funny, light things, but I'm not really feeling happy, funny, or light. This part of the wait is hard and, much as I tried to prepare myself for this, I cannot keep myself from having some pretty down days. What can I say - we have 16.5 weeks of waiting under our belt and we're not getting any better at it.

above average

While I normally like to think of Ryan and myself as hard-working, motivated people, there are some times when I'd really prefer to be just average (even below average).

Like when it comes to getting a referral.

According to this, the average number of days between waitlist to referral for a boy is 92 (for our agency). As of today, we have been waiting 108 days. This is not exactly the type of thing I was hoping to be "above average" at. And please, please, please don't let me break any records.

:(

ps - even though I'm not loving the numbers, I do love that Jared actually took the time to figure this out!

if you build it, he will come

We caved. Well, I caved.

We've been trying to avoid making baby-related purchases, as we fear the possibility of staring at an empty nursery for months. But that fear is competing with my desire to start planning for our child's arrival... and the need to try to enjoy the waiting/expecting phase of this process (difficult as that seems to be lately).

So... we did it! We finally made our first significant purchase:



We are ready for "the call" now (well, minus a crib, bottles, changing table, clothes...).

ps -The doll is EJ's training "coach." You might remember our dog trainer's advice that we try to get EJ adjusted to there being a little one around...

distraction

..don't have much (good news) to share about the adoption journey these days, so I thought I'd post some pics instead. They're pretty random, but I think they help to tell our story. And they make me smile.