Five weeks down.
And I still can't help wondering how many more are ahead of us.
Isn't it funny how we long to get to certain milestones (agency approval... CIS approval... waitlist... referral...), imagining that the completion of that step will make us feel so much better. And it does, briefly. It's just that with the conclusion of each big step, we also find that we are that much more anxious to move onto the next phase.
Hmmm....
Anyway, I apologize for not being much of a blogger lately. Things have been a bit hectic here - not helped by the fact that I've been trying to adjust my schedule so that I can stay up late to talk to Ryan who has been in South Africa (he's flying home as I write - yay!!). I am tired!! Speaking of which (the talking to Ryan across an ocean, not being tired) - we've mostly kept in touch this past week by video chat thru aol messenger and it made me think that it would be a great way to keep in touch and share our experiences with friends and family when we finally do travel to Ethiopia. Don't know if anyone reading this has already traveled there, but if you have, could you comment/email me and let me know how internet service was. Is the connection good enough for video chats? Not sure we'll actually want to bring a laptop given how much other stuff we'll be taking, but it is a cheap and fun way to keep in touch.
Going to try to catch up on some sleep (oh, and the Eliot Spitzer scandal - who would've thought??), but I promise to check in again here soon.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
one month down
Today marks one month since we were put on Gladney's wait list! And according to Gladney's estimates that puts us somewhere between one-fifth to one-third of the way towards our referral (I'd like to place my vote for one-third).
There hasn't been much to report lately (at least not on our end - but check out the Rooneys who finally (FINALLY!!) got the amazing news they had been hoping for). Anyhow, as I was saying, so far the wait has been pretty uneventful for us. I wouldn't say we have been able to put the whole waiting and wondering thing out of our minds, but we are starting to comfortably settle into the place where it is a relief to be done with all the paperwork, where we can envision the end of this process... but we do not yet have the anxiety that inevitably will come as we enter the "estimated timeframe for a referral."
Of course we're still not quite ready to start making any major purchases or preparations for our child. The lion (see below) will have to do for now. But for the moment we are at least experiencing a sense of calm, something that has been quite rare over the last several months!
I realize this was not the most exciting post, but I'm going to have to leave it at this for now. Ryan is in South Africa (more on that later) and EJ is not pleased that I am in the office/soon to be child's bedroom typing away at the computer. EJ really is not a fan of anyone spending time in this room. Poor thing has no idea what's to come.
There hasn't been much to report lately (at least not on our end - but check out the Rooneys who finally (FINALLY!!) got the amazing news they had been hoping for). Anyhow, as I was saying, so far the wait has been pretty uneventful for us. I wouldn't say we have been able to put the whole waiting and wondering thing out of our minds, but we are starting to comfortably settle into the place where it is a relief to be done with all the paperwork, where we can envision the end of this process... but we do not yet have the anxiety that inevitably will come as we enter the "estimated timeframe for a referral."
Of course we're still not quite ready to start making any major purchases or preparations for our child. The lion (see below) will have to do for now. But for the moment we are at least experiencing a sense of calm, something that has been quite rare over the last several months!
I realize this was not the most exciting post, but I'm going to have to leave it at this for now. Ryan is in South Africa (more on that later) and EJ is not pleased that I am in the office/soon to be child's bedroom typing away at the computer. EJ really is not a fan of anyone spending time in this room. Poor thing has no idea what's to come.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
spreading hope
As I've mentioned at least a few times before, going through the adoption process is a lot like being on an emotional roller coaster ride: so many ups and downs, highs and lows. We signed on for this and we tried to prepare ourselves as much as we could for the journey.
But no matter how much we tried to gear up for the process, I don't think it is possible to avoid having moments of uncertainty and doubt, frustration and anger, fear and sadness. This is not to say that we are spending our days in despair; to the contrary, we are mostly very excited and happy and joyous. But we do feel a need to temper those good feelings, to not get too excited or too happy, to not plan too much for the future. Because we don't know when we might reach the end of this journey.
The "what ifs" abound - what if this takes much longer than expected? what if the Ethiopian adoption laws change? what if we do not make it through court? what if... what if... what if.... We want to begin preparing for our new arrival, shopping for furniture and strollers and toys... sharing the news beyond the small circle of friends and family that we've already told (and, oh yeah, the blogging world!), but fear often gets the better of us. What if we tell the world and prepare a nursery and celebrate our adoption... and then things go wrong?
Or what if it doesn't.
At the end of the day, it probably doesn't matter how much more we do or don't do to openly celebrate our adoption plans. We are already fully invested and if things do become more difficult or challenging, I have a feeling we will feel pretty awful regardless of whether or not there is a stroller sitting in the apartment. And we will deal with it. Because we know that things will happen the way they are supposed to, and one day - maybe sooner, maybe later - we will see the light at the end of this tunnel. We will not lose hope.
A couple of days ago I mentioned a great post by Jana on the topic of hope. Overcoming her own fears, Jana purchase a pair of adorable keds for the little girl that is waiting for her and her husband as a symbol of her hope for the future. In an effort to further spread hope, I promised to share our own symbol of hope, so without further ado, I present our yet-to-be-named lion, our personal symbol of hope:
What is your symbol of hope?
But no matter how much we tried to gear up for the process, I don't think it is possible to avoid having moments of uncertainty and doubt, frustration and anger, fear and sadness. This is not to say that we are spending our days in despair; to the contrary, we are mostly very excited and happy and joyous. But we do feel a need to temper those good feelings, to not get too excited or too happy, to not plan too much for the future. Because we don't know when we might reach the end of this journey.
The "what ifs" abound - what if this takes much longer than expected? what if the Ethiopian adoption laws change? what if we do not make it through court? what if... what if... what if.... We want to begin preparing for our new arrival, shopping for furniture and strollers and toys... sharing the news beyond the small circle of friends and family that we've already told (and, oh yeah, the blogging world!), but fear often gets the better of us. What if we tell the world and prepare a nursery and celebrate our adoption... and then things go wrong?
Or what if it doesn't.
At the end of the day, it probably doesn't matter how much more we do or don't do to openly celebrate our adoption plans. We are already fully invested and if things do become more difficult or challenging, I have a feeling we will feel pretty awful regardless of whether or not there is a stroller sitting in the apartment. And we will deal with it. Because we know that things will happen the way they are supposed to, and one day - maybe sooner, maybe later - we will see the light at the end of this tunnel. We will not lose hope.
A couple of days ago I mentioned a great post by Jana on the topic of hope. Overcoming her own fears, Jana purchase a pair of adorable keds for the little girl that is waiting for her and her husband as a symbol of her hope for the future. In an effort to further spread hope, I promised to share our own symbol of hope, so without further ado, I present our yet-to-be-named lion, our personal symbol of hope:
What is your symbol of hope?
Monday, February 25, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
ugh.
Been catching up on some other Gladney family blogs and noticed that people seem to be waiting longer for court dates these days than they did just a couple of months back. Instead of getting a court date within a month or so of a referral, it's looking more like two. And then there's always the possibility that it will take more than one court date for the adoption to be finalized.
Granted, all of our estimated timeframes are not much more than guesses (and wishes!) and everything changes so quickly when it comes to this process, but if what I'm reading is accurate, I am thinking the likelihood of our having a referral and making it through the courts before they close for the rainy season (typically late Aug. to early Oct.) is not so good. That depresses me.
We have always known that this is a real possibility, but I guess some days it just hits a little harder and seems a little more real. Today is one of those days.
We have been on this roller coaster ride for quite some time now and I imagine there will be lots more bad days and, hopefully, even more good ones. So I am going to try not to let this get to me. Like Jana, I am going to try to embrace hope.
Granted, all of our estimated timeframes are not much more than guesses (and wishes!) and everything changes so quickly when it comes to this process, but if what I'm reading is accurate, I am thinking the likelihood of our having a referral and making it through the courts before they close for the rainy season (typically late Aug. to early Oct.) is not so good. That depresses me.
We have always known that this is a real possibility, but I guess some days it just hits a little harder and seems a little more real. Today is one of those days.
We have been on this roller coaster ride for quite some time now and I imagine there will be lots more bad days and, hopefully, even more good ones. So I am going to try not to let this get to me. Like Jana, I am going to try to embrace hope.
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