blah. excited. obsessed. hopeful.

Blah...is how I've been feeling lately.

I arrived home from Germany with a bit of a cold. And a few days later it turned ugly. Really ugly. And I hate being sick. Makes me cranky and sad and difficult. Poor Ryan arrived home from Jordan this weekend (did I mention that he left for Jordan a couple of days after I got home? for two people who rarely travel for work, we've had quite a stretch lately...) to find me lying helpless on the couch, coughing and sneezing and generally looking and feeling miserable. Not exactly a warm welcome home.

Anyway, my blah-ness has caused me to be a bad blogger lately. But as I am finally starting to feel better, I thought I should check in. Not that there's much to tell. We continue to wait (yesterday marked 11 weeks waiting!) and, as many of you know, waiting is also pretty blah.

But there is some excitement - there have been a few referrals recently, including a baby boy for the Soucys, whose journey we have been following for some time now. It's hard to explain to those who are not going through this process how truly touched and affected we are by the other families who are also adopting. I genuinely get so excited each time I read that a family has received their referral or made it through the courts. It surely is the next best thing to experiencing these things ourselves.

And, of course, the more referrals that are given, the more we move up on the infamous FBI. I am absolutely *obsessed* with this document. I must check it a hundred times a day (probably more). And I analyze it and analyze it. Did you know that over the past few months there have been 4-5 referrals per month? and that the referrals generally come in the second half of the month? I know this. I also know that we are currently 4th on the list for a baby boy... 2nd if he's between 12-18mos.

And despite my affinity for stalking and analyzing the list, I know that the list is not a guarantee of anything... that referrals are not always given in order of placement on the waitlist and that with so many families waitlisted within a few days of us, that this probably increases the likelihood that referrals will not be in exact order. And that's okay, because I know our perfect match will be made at the perfect time. But I'm still choosing to be hopeful that good things are coming....