Missing Mer and reflecting on adopting from Africa

As has been pointed out, the frau is in das Vaterland. So it seemed like a good opportunity for this over-hyped idealer gatte (look it up) to chime in with some commentary. Usually I just take dictation from our four-legged könig - btw, looking over the comments, we may as well change this site to the ejfanclub.com - who cares about the kid, right ej? (from the peanut gallery: guzo-schmuzo - Arf!).

So I think I have to start by dispelling any notions my extended family and friends may have about me hypnotizing, bribing, or in any way coercing Mer to say such nice things about me so often on this blog. It is not a condition of our marriage, nor is she on any mind-altering substances (to my knowledge), and no that pair of rose-colored sunglasses do not really affect her vision or her judgment.

The truth of course is that it's Mer who is really the wonder of this partnership (and not because she's the most intelligent person on record who admits to watching endless reruns of America's Next Top Model):

• It is Mer who has fought through the toughest of the bureaucracy and paperwork to keep this adoption process moving.
  
• It is Mer who works to parse an intricate (and male-dominated) industry with its impossible acronyms and jargon and constant beckoning of the blinking blackberry.
  
• Mer is the one who gets up at any hour to attend to a sick puppy (while I am dead to the world and hogging the blanket).
  
• Mer is the one who suffers through my long-winded explanations of topics she understands in nanoseconds (for generations my ancestors have struggled to get to the point of a story in a timely manner - it fills time when fishing).
  
• Mer is the one who spots an issue we need to talk through as a couple and has the courage to bring it up.
  
• Mer is the one who commits us to family fitness.
  
• It's Mer who transformed my personal sense of style from embarrassing to acceptable and whose eye for decor has made our home a modern and warm sanctuary.
• And most impressively, because I firmly believe in the concept of looking at one's circle to see what is most valued - Mer's family and closest friends can be defined with one simple word: generosity.
  

So while I doubt any of you who know me were really fooled by any of the previous posts, I hope this list (while nur die Spitze des Eisbergs - hint: iceberg) will start the process of clearing up any misconceptions you may have had about the m&r household.

Now, what about adoption and Africa and the process, etc....

For now, just one thought, that occurred to me while doing some AIDS work in Cape Town last month:

When I meet people from a country torn apart by something abhorrent - apartheid, disease, genocide, war, famine (and Ethiopia has certainly had its share of many of these things - read There is No Me Without You if you aren't convinced) - I can't help but be inspired. In neighborhoods where 1 in 3 is HIV+ and people live in scrap metal makeshift huts, I met people whose effort to get up that day and walk to fetch water outshines everything I've ever accomplished. And the counselors and nurses at the clinic where my university will be doing some research perform feats of heroism that in my opinion far outpace the celebrity athletes and military commanders that earn that kind of praise on our 24-hour tv networks.

(Mer's voice in my head: get to the point dear)

I think many people's first impression upon hearing that someone is going to adopt from a troubled African nation is - "Wow, that child will be so lucky. You are doing such a great thing." But I would ask that you consider an alternative: It is we who are so lucky. It is Mer and myself and our families who will be given the gift of inspiration from Ethiopia. It is we who will be invited to join a country of heroes. Yes, we will be adopting a child, but Ethiopia will be adopting us.