If you've been reading this for at least a couple of weeks, you'll recall that Ryan had a rather miserable experience at the bank trying to obtain a notarized bank reference letter only to find out, after his two painful trips to the bank, that we needed a letter which referenced not only our checking account, but a savings account as well. He, understandably, had enough of banks, so it was my turn.
I started with a letter to my bank, because I actually thought it might be easier. You know, rather than try to work through the reps at a branch, my request could find its way directly to someone who had the understanding and authority to issue a reference letter. And it almost worked!!
I should probably explain first that my "home" branch is actually in the town I grew up in, and not in NYC, since I think I was probably still in elementary school when I opened my first bank account. So when HSBC got my letter, they referred it to that office and I got a call from Annie.* Annie was super excited about my adoption plans and so, so sweet and anxious to help. Just one problem - the office does not have a notary on staff and we agreed that it would be inconvenient and costly for me not only to get up to that office, but to get there with a notary. She assured me that I could walk into any HSBC branch that had a notary (and reminded me to ask first, because they don't all have one) and request a letter and they would be happy to oblige. I admit I had my doubts, but Annie was sure. She said to have the other branch call her if there was any trouble. She wished me well with the process again and I was on to round two.
This past Friday I made my way into a nearby HSBC during my lunch hour where Chip, another patient and kind representative, offered his assistance. He agreed with Annie that such a letter was no problem for HSBC, but unfortunately this branch did not have a notary either. But I shouldn't fret - the office a few blocks away had a full time notary and I should try there. Chip gave me his card, suggested I talk to Grant at the other branch, and assured me I would be well taken care of. On to round three.
So I made my way to the next branch and met Grant. Grant seemed to have a harder time understanding my needs. I had brought with me the model letter that Gladney includes in the dossier manual, thinking it would simplify things. It didn't. Grant could not understand why I simply did not cross out the words like "[name of prospective adoptive parent]" and fill in my information. He would have been happy to sign the letter if I just filled in my information. Finally, I got him to understand that the letter really had to be on bank letterhead and so this method would not work.
Once Grant understood what I needed, he told me the bank could do it, but they'd charge me $20 and I should go talk to Lucy... over there... and he shooed me away.
Twenty dollars?? Did others have to pay for bank reference letters? I found this so strange. Chase didn't charge for the letter we already got. I decided I'd wait to talk to Lucy since I was already there, but I immediately called Ryan and left him a message letting him know he might very well be back in this game.
Anyhow... the bank was quite crowded and Lucy appeared to be the only person available to help people for issues other than deposits/withdrawals. When she finally called me to see her, she stood in the doorway of her office not quite letting me in. Clearly, Lucy was ready to call it a day and didn't want to deal with anything big. I explained to her that my husband and I were in the middle of adopting a child, and, as part of the process, I needed to obtain a letter from my bank, referencing that I held a savings account in good standing. I showed her the model letter - fortunately, she immediately appreciated that it was, in fact, a "model," and that the bank would need to duplicate it. She said it normally takes a day and I should leave the form (which she was already holding) and come back Monday. Thanks. Bye. But before she too could shoo me away, I suggested she might need my name and account number. She told me to write on the form, but as I searched for a pen, she decided to calm down a bit and walked me into her office and asked me to sit down.
I gave her my info and she printed off a page with my details to attach to the form letter. She asked me what the letter needed to say. I reviewed the form with her and told her that I just needed confirmation that I had an account in good standing and to please NOT include account balances (apparently, this can create issues because the number won't exactly match the financial statements in our homestudy). I asked if there was a charge for the letter and she said yes - $15 (maybe Grant was looking to make a few bucks off me??)... but then immediately said she wouldn't charge me. No reason given and I didn't ask for one. She gave me her card and said to come back Monday afternoon. And I will.
So hopefully tomorrow when I return, there will be a letter and it will be similar to the model form and properly notarized. I'm thinking it's a 50-50 chance. Check back tomorrow for the results.
As for the rest... still no progress at Gladney. They have now had our homestudy report (which was conducted by Gladney) for about three weeks, but it has not been finalized. We've seen a draft and it seems pretty straightforward and states up front that we are "recommended" as adoptive parents. There were some minor revisions necessary (for example, they got the town where I went to high school wrong), but nothing that should have taken more than a day or so to fix. We have no explanation for why they have not been able to finalize the report.
I understand that Gladney has had a surge in its Ethiopia program and I'm aware that things in the Ethiopian courts have not been moving very smoothly of late. I am sure that this has shifted their attention and priorities somewhat. I also remind myself that these changes mean that more children are finding homes and that is entirely good. And I know that this process is like a roller coaster ride and I should have no expectation of an easy or smooth ride. So I try to keep perspective.
But it is hard and I must admit that I have been having some minor meltdowns. We have just about completed all of our paperwork for our dossier. But until the homestudy report is finalized and we are officially "Gladney approved," we are more or less at a standstill. We cannot complete our CIS I-600A and get the CIS fingerprinting/approval process started. With referral times increasing and court appointments taking longer, we already know that we are likely on the cusp as to whether or not we will be able to complete the process prior to the courts closing (i.e. summer) as opposed to late Fall/Winter... perhaps we will not even travel until early 2009. I think what is most frustrating is that of all the things we imagined could go wrong, our agency's lack of responsiveness was not one of them. Still, we are trying to accept that this is not within our control and to try not to let it get to us. I do know and believe that things will work out in the end and it will all have been worth it. It just might take me a little while to feel okay about it.
*all names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved
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