take two!

Two months into the new year and we are already off to a busy 2010!

We are just back from a relaxing active family vacation to Mexico (not that we didn't expect it, but traveling with a two year old is a bit more challenging different than traveling as a couple). Still, we had a great time (even got to stay an extra day due to our flight being canceled because of all the snow back home) and I'm thinking Simon is already on his way to being an intrepid traveler! I will write more on the trip soon and, of course, post a few pictures of our adventures.

We also celebrated Simon's second birthday (photos below). We braved a party at home this year and survived without any major spills, injuries, or temper tantrums! In other words... a major success!!

It is amazing to watch Simon these days - with every passing day he seems more and more grown up. New words, new skills, new tricks, new games. He is trying to establish some sense of independence and control over his own life and also becoming more social. It is sometimes funny, sometimes maddening, and always fun to watch.

And we certainly cannot forget about EJ - he recently celebrated his fifth birthday!! Our once only "child" has had to deal with lots of changes over the past year and a half and he hasn't always been too happy about them, but we love Mr. J as much as ever, and we know that as soon as Simon understands that EJ is not a riding toy, doesn't like to be poked in the eyes, and doesn't really enjoy the "game" of being chased... they will be best friends! After all, EJ does get lots of extra table food thanks to Simon ;)

Finally, because we don't think we have enough chaos around here, we are, as some of you already know, in the process of adopting again. The paperchase has started... first round of fingerprints are booked... our homestudy is on the calendar... and lots of new blog material is ahead! Although we expect to be able to complete most of the paperwork fairly quickly, we understand that things are moving much more slowly in the adoption world these days, so we don't expect to be bringing a child home before this time next year (and that is really best, best case scenario). So, we are keeping cool (for the moment), while we gear up for all the madness that round 2 is sure to bring. Stay tuned....

hulat!

Somebody is 2 today!!

roller coasters

I've written so many times before that the process of adopting a child can feel like an emotional roller coaster. We've certainly chronicled here the ride that was the paperwork process and the waiting (and waiting and waiting), and also the ups and downs of meeting our son and coming home and beginning our life together as a family. And I think we often focus on those aspects of the adoption as being the most crazy, emotion-filled, and challenging, and sometimes even as if they are the most amazing and meaningful ones. But the further we settle into life together and the crazy becomes the mundane, the more I realize that the roller coaster ride of this adoption has barely begun.

It has been a long time since we were in the routine of waking up in the middle of the night to tend to Simon, but every now and then we still have one of those nights where he can't get to sleep or he wakes up upset. Calming him down usually consists of me holding him and rocking him. Sometimes we dance around his room listening to lullabies. I usually whisper silly things to him - we talk about his stuffed animals and toys and about the fun things we'll do the next day - and a few not-so-silly things - like how much Ryan and I love him and how lucky we are.... (Not so) Secretly, I love these moments.

And sometimes in those moments, I momentarily lose my breath - literally. As if someone punched me in the gut. Because it is in those moments that I find myself thinking about the fact that Simon has a biological family somewhere in Ethiopia, and they will never get to experience these moments. And he will never get to know this family. My heart is so full for what this family has given to me and yet it aches so much for them too. I sometimes wonder if I will ever fully be able to reconcile these feelings.

Simon is far too young to really comprehend these things, but I know that someday he will. And then, when the paperwork is far, far behind us, and the roller coaster seems to have slowed down, I imagine we will find ourselves racing again up and down hills and through loops, trying to understand things about this world that may never really make sense. Because this roller coaster ride is not one that ends when the adoption process is complete. It is a part of our family and it goes on and on and on....

record keeping

As I've said before, one of the main reasons I've tried to keep this blog going is for the record it is creating of this time in our lives. I am up and down in keeping up with written journals, and while we have zillions of photos capturing every milestone and plenty of the mundane, they are mostly just stored in random files on the computer.... So guzo is, in some sense, the best and most organized keepsake of Simon's adoption and our first year++ as a family.

Which brings me to my next problem. Even guzo is suffering lately from lack of posts... gaps in time... my failure to note down all the little things that make me laugh and that I know I will want to reminisce about later, but fear I will not remember.

So this post is my attempt to close some of those gaps, to note down the moments in our daily lives that are special and joyful and amazing, but that do not tend to get celebrated in the same way as some of the bigger milestones (the birthdays, the "firsts" - steps, teeth..., the holidays, etc.). This is more for me than for anyone else, but for those of you who have followed our journey for all or part of the last 2.5 years now (yes, we've been blogging for about that long!), I hope these thoughts allow you to also share in some of the fun.

With that, I note - in no particular order - the following random Simon greatness:

Simon's favorites:
Music: Black Eyed Peas' Boom Boom Pow (aka "boompow, boompow"), I Gotta Feeling ("hooo hoo"); Muse's Uprising; Sesame Street's Sing What I Sing Sing After Me, Madagascar 2 - Will.I.Am's Move It
Food: anything... but especially pizza ("eeeza") and cookies ("koo-koos")
Activities: cooking (the real deal is preferred... but will settle for his play kitchen if he has to), cars, story time, coloring, chasing mommy and daddy and ej around the couch, watching videos of himself

Simon's least favorite:
- being told no

Mommy's least favorite:
- terrible two's temper tantrums

Mommy's comic relief from terrible two's temper tantrums:
- when Simon, in the middle of a screaming, raging tantrum, stops and looks up to make sure we are paying attention... and then as soon as eye contact is made, deciding the tantrum can resume

Simon's words (he's got lots, but these are some of his favorites and they make me laugh - even when they shouldn't):
- No!
- pee (which alternatively can mean: the Black Eyed Peas, play, and, well... pee)
- cook! cook!
- DJ (for EJ)
- mommy ;)

Simon-isms:
- "boogie-woogie" = shake your head left and right, like you are rocking out to a great song
- "tent" = put a blanket over your head... even better if you can get mommy or daddy under the blanket too... and the best if you can get mommy, daddy and EJ under the blanket!

Cute things that Simon does that I think are unique, but that probably every two year old does:
- pretends to read newspapers and books and pretty much anything that has letters - and, amazingly, they almost always say the same thing: A, E, A, I, O, E...
- will stay in his crib for up to an hour after he wakes, laughing and singing and babbling - I am dying to install a video-camera in there just to see what's going on!
- hides behind our curtains and shouts "Si... Si..." to let us know he is hiding and we should be calling "Si... Si..." as if we cannot find him
- announces that he is going to do something he knows we do not want him to do... waits for our response (i.e. don't do XXX)... then smiles, turns away and runs as fast as his little legs will carry him towards the forbidden!

Life is good.

a word of advice

Not long after we came home from Ethiopia, another adoptive parent told us a story about a trip she took to London with her Ethiopian daughter. She was given a bit of a hard time going through customs because she was not traveling with her husband and she did not have his written permission to travel alone with their daughter.

I didn't think much of it at the time. Chalked it up to what I guessed were mostly archaic laws... and not helped by the fact that her daughter didn't look like her or share her last name (as Simon does not look like me or share my name).... Kind of imagined it as one of those annoying things we sometimes face when traveling. Someone with a little bit of authority having a little "fun" with it. But it stuck with me and we did carry a copy of our adoption paperwork when we visited Ryan's family in Oregon last year.

I had mostly forgotten about that until this weekend when I read this article in the NY Times. Perhaps my friend's experience is not so unusual... nor, I suppose, should it be. Because of the many international child abductions that occur each year (often by one parent in a custody battle), travelers may be asked to prove that that they are the legal guardians of the children traveling with them and that they have their spouse's permission to travel (if he/she is not with them).

Anyhow, I don't really want to get into the politics of international child rights or abduction cases. But I do want to alert my fellow adoptive (and not) parents to these rules. While they apply in theory to anyone, I'm guessing you are more likely to encounter issues if your last name and your child's last name differ... or if you and your child are of obviously different ethnic backgrounds. So consider this a little guzo public service announcement; keep a copy of your adoption papers with your passports and bring a letter from your spouse if you'll be traveling without him/her.

And now I will step down from my soapbox. Regular programming to resume soon!