the details

OK. Where to begin??

Well, as many of you know, those of us currently going through the adoption process have been experiencing delays and longer wait times than average. And as I've documented pretty well here, that has not always been easy. Last week we marked five months on the wait list. Since Gladney's estimated wait time for a referral had been 3-5 months with few exceptions over the past year or so, passing through that milestone hit hard. Especially since there was no new estimated timeframe to guide us. So as this week began, I was definitely struggling to keep my head up.

By Thursday, I was feeling so discouraged that I actually emailed Jessica (our caseworker) to modify our contact details. I gave all of Ryan's contact information as the primary way to reach us (my cell and work numbers had always been #1 and #2). By then, we were starting to hear some encouraging news, but I still just wanted to try to push the pain and anxiety of waiting for "the call" (and being disappointed every time the phone rang and it was not "the call") as far away as possible.

Enter Friday. I had decided to take the day off from work and made plans to meet Ryan for lunch. Of course, we spent the whole meal talking about the adoption, wondering how and when things would start moving for us... As we were wrapping up, I checked my email and saw an email from Gladney confirming that they would be making referrals that afternoon. I honestly think my heart stopped.

I was crazed thinking we might actually get "the call," and absolutely terrified that we would not.

Ryan had to go back to his office, but I did not really want to leave him. Even though I had planned on an indulgent afternoon (think manicure/pedicure/massage), I suddenly couldn't imagine being away from my phone. But, since Ryan works waaaaay uptown and we live waaaaay downtown, I also didn't want to get back on the subway for a 40 minute ride and wonder if I was missing our call. I wandered a bit and then decided that I needed to just go home.

And as soon as I got home, I started blog stalking to see if anyone had been called yet.... I didn't find anything.

About 15-20 minutes later (approx. 3pm), my cell phone rang and it was Ryan. My first thought was that he better know not to be calling me for anything other than referral news. He knew.

Somehow, Ryan was extremely calm even though I think my first words were not "hello" or "hey what's up," but rather "you better not be calling me unless we have our referral." I think I heard a muddled "so yeah" or something like that. To which I responded "we have it?" And I think I heard another "yeah." This went on for another round or two before Mr. Nonchalant made clear that Jessica had called and was just waiting for him to confirm I was available to speak so she could conference call us in together (I learned later that he was trying to stay calm and keep his voice down because he had been in a public area when he got the call). I told (yelled at?) him to go call her back - NOW! Thank goodness he is such a patient and understanding guy. I can be scary :)

Oh, and I think I told him he better be prepared to pack up and come home immediately after the call. You see, we had agreed that if we got our referral call when we were not together, we'd take the call and get the info, but we would NOT look at any pictures until we were together. Sounded like a reasonable plan at the time ;)

Anyway... we finally got on the phone with Jessica. Jessica told us all about our beautiful boy, who she described as "observant, calm and happy." I think she was as overjoyed to be finally giving referrals again as we were to receive one.

Ryan agreed to come home as soon as the call ended. And I took EJ for what felt like the longest, most-emotional, mind-racing walk ever to try to keep myself busy until Ryan made it home. I think I was literally counting the miliseconds.

About 45 minutes later, Ryan arrived, we popped open some champagne that we'd been saving for the occasion and spent the next few hours staring and marveling at this amazing child we hope will soon be our son.

So we are still crazed, over the moon, trying to absorb it all... very appreciative of all the wonderful comments, calls and emails we've received. This is a really special community of people.

But even as our hearts are full and our excitement high as things seem to be moving along for more families, our hearts still ache for those families who have endured these extra long waits along with us, but who did not receive good news yesterday. Please keep all of these families in your thoughts and share our wishes that they will have the news they so long for very, very soon.

best birthday ever!

It's true. We received "the call" and we have been referred a precious five month old boy.

Details to come soon (we promise!!).

we're still here

I know. I know. Our blogging activity has been less than stellar lately. Even EJ seems to be doing a better job keeping up with the blog than we are - and he's not even a fan of this whole adoption journey!!

As many of you know, we are experiencing delays right now in the process (and yes, that would be an understatement), so we haven't had very much to share. And because this has also proven to be a very emotionally challenging time, we haven't always wanted to share. But we are still here. And we are still thinking about all our fellow adoptive parents and the children who are waiting for them.

Anyway, it's not all doom and gloom.

We've mostly been enjoying the summer and trying to take advantage of the warm weather (think afternoons in the Park... walks along the Brooklyn Bridge... brunch at an outdoor cafe....). We also had the great pleasure of meeting Grace and John this past weekend (pic to come, my computer is not cooperating with me at the moment). They are so much fun to hang out with (we're hoping they really will move to NYC and be our neighbors!).

And one of us has a birthday coming up this weekend. Would it be too much to ask Gladney to give us a gift?? I have the perfect idea.... ;)

another week

By now, I've pretty much stopped counting the weeks since we were placed on the waitlist, as the passing of these weeks no longer seems to represent the fact that we are getting closer to a referral, so much as the fact that we have been waiting far longer than anticipated. I think we're at 21 or 22 weeks down now. Too many, if you ask me. Oh. And we exit the "window" this weekend.

But we are coping better these days. I guess you can get better at waiting if you have to do it long enough!!

Anyhow, I know I've been a bad blogger lately. I have to admit that detaching ourselves somewhat from the adoption process has been part of our coping mechanism. It's not that we've put our adoption out of our minds. I don't really want to do that and it wouldn't be possible, even if I did. But I'm actually pretty happy if I don't have to talk too much about it these days. Because... well... what more can I say?

So, we are throwing ourselves into other things (the hunt for a new apartment; a new travel venture...) and trying to make the most of this summer before it passes us by. And, hey, EJ is certainly enjoying the extra time as our only "child."

Living on the ej: It's Summer!

ej here... i apologize to the fans out there for being out of touch for a couple of months.

But it's summmerrrrr! So, without further ado, the 10 best things about summer in NYC (from roughly 8" off the ground):

(10) waking up my peeps earlier for walks - the sun is out - so ry & mer... it's time to Goooooo!
(9) extra yummy treats to look for on the sidewalks - ice cream and sno-cone droppings, mmm
(8) more trips to the dog run, where I can chase tennis balls like a maniac (actually, get ry to chase me with the tennis ball, i have to do my part to keep my peeps in shape)
(7) speaking of chasing, squirrel-chasing in the park - one of these days, i'm going to catch one of those bushy-tailed varmints, one of these days... (then what? ummm...i'll get back to you on that)
(6) way less bad weather - being a low-rider and all, rain and snow isn't my thing, and while we do get the occasional thunderstorm, i can "go commando" and stay high and dry, well at least dry
(5) more daylight means more sunny spots in the apartment to plop down for a little nap
(4) mer & ry usually head off to whatever exotic new destination no one has ever heard of - WHO CARES - i get a week of indulgence at my grandparents, give me a T! Give me an R!....E.... A....T.... S - what's that spell? TREATS!!!!
(3) summer in NYC means more tourists, and more tourists means more people cooing and pointing and asking to pet me, more petting means more belly rubs, and belly rubs, well...need I say more?
(2) summer means shedding off some excess hair for that sleek sheen that impresses the ladies (i was thinking about asking for a speedo, but i'm more of a lounge-by-the-pool type than a swimmer, so maybe the board shorts look would be better? i don't know, i think i need my own stylist)
(1) And most importantly, summer is the perfect time to adopt a furry friend - try my birthplace - the ASPCA (didn't you know that my peeps are already adoptive parents?) Seriously. Do it. Owning a pet lowers stress levels. Trust me. :)

'till next time... Arf!

ej