eight... and six

So, I started writing this post yesterday - to mark eight months on the waitlist for a referral - but our internet went down as I was writing, and so, instead I will post today: 8 months and 1 day into our wait for a referral... AND the day of EJ's 6th birthday! Our crazy, lovable, barks-like-he-is-a-pitbull-and-not-a-little-dog is 6 today. He can be a handful, but we love him!!

Happy Birthday EJ!


So back to our current adoption (did I mention EJ was adopted from the ASPCA? we advocate all kinds of adoptions)...

The good news is that we continue to find the waiting a bit easier the second time around, and we have been able to maintain a relative calm about everything (though not without occasional moments of frustration, anxiety, and emotional overload) . The not-so-good news is that the process itself has slowed down since we started, and the 8-9 month average wait time for a referral is no longer realistic. And it's not clear just yet exactly how much longer we should expect to be waiting.

Of course, this is not unchartered territory for us. As you may recall, similar delays and changes affected us during Simon's adoption, and our estimated 3-4 month wait turned out to actually be a 5 1/2 month wait (and, silly us, we thought that was so, so long!!).

And so it goes. Hopes of a trip (or two) to Ethiopia this summer have faded away, as we keep our fingers crossed that we complete the adoption in 2011. Plans to look for a new apartment in 2012 have been accelerated, since we have the time now. Paperwork that we’d filed away has been pulled so that we can start to renew expiring documents.

It’s quite a different experience than we had the first time around. And I realize I sometimes sound a bit less excited or invested in the process this time. That’s actually not the case at all. This is a quieter process – things moved so fast with Simon’s adoption (even though we didn’t really think so then), that there was always some news to write about (literally - everything that happened was "new" and "news" to us). But things that surprised us the first time were totally expected this time around (yes, my bank, I'm talking about you). There are also far longer periods of no adoption activity at all. Not to mention, with a three year old running around, I have a lot less time to write about things anyway. But we are so, so excited about the prospect of receiving our referral and expanding our family. Not a day goes by that we do not think about it, talk about it, plan for it. Maybe less publicly, but not with any less heart.

And so we wait. Quiet. Excited. Sometimes patiently. Sometimes not so patiently. Eight months (and a day) down and maybe a long road still ahead. But all for a very good reason. And so we wait.

three!

someone is three today...

all i want.... part two

You may recall a Christmas-time post about Simon's wish for a playdate with Guy Fieri? Well, things have gotten a bit more complicated....

We've been talking to Simon about his upcoming birthday and how we will have a party with all his friends. This is the first time we are making a "big" birthday party for him, since I think he understands the concept now (sort of) and having started pre-school this year, actually has his own circle of friends - kids he will be in school with for the next few years. So we talk about the party and how so many of his friends will be there and mostly he has seemed excited.

Until a few days ago.

That's when he informed me that he didn't want his friends to come to his party. He wanted Ina (Garten), Rachel Ray, Bobby Flay, Guy (Fieri) and Paula Deen to come. And this he has reiterated many times over the last few days (sometimes Santa gets added to the list, but mostly its his Food Network friends that seem to really matter).

So if you think I have been exaggerating Simon's cooking obsession, think again. I guarantee my son is the only (almost) three year old who cannot identify Disney characters, Bob the Builder, or the Backyardigans, but can name every host of the Food Network and, often, name every ingredient (spices included) of the dishes they are making on a given episode.

Anyway, if you happen to have any ideas about how to get any one of the Food Network gang to come to a three year old's birthday party, let me know!

Living on the ej: Twitter-Arf

EJ here....most readers probably aren't aware that I used to be a guest blogger on this site back in the day.

Some of my most treasured posts from 2008:

gathering evidence
summer
i dogth protest
campaign edition

I've been focusing on patrolling our neighborhood and protecting my prized possessions from you know who, so I really haven't had time to write, but my therapist says it would be a good outlet, so anyway, if mer & ry beg enough, I might post here again from time to time, but mostly I wanted to let fans know that I've joined the twitterati: @ejDog.

Microblogging suits my stature, so check out my occasional brief bursts of brilliance!

Arf!

seven

Yup. We are seven months into our wait to learn about the little girl who will one day (hopefully, in the not too distant future) join our family.

In my heart I would like to write a longer, more meaningful blog post, but frankly, I'm exhausted!! As is always the case, life is chaotic and fun and busy and challenging, and we are balancing 101 things at a time!!

But seven months into the wait - and more than eleven months into the adoption process - is a pretty big milestone, and one that could not go unrecognized, so here I am to write a not-so-long, but hopefully still meaningful, post.

And here we are. Almost a year since we started the process. Seven months since our names were added to Gladney's waitlist. And still with such a long road ahead.

As of the end of 2010, it was taking about nine months for most families to receive a referral from our agency, which would put us only about two months or so away from that life-changing call (a thought that does make my heart beat just a bit faster). Then it is taking approximately another 2-3 months before families are given a court date - a date that could be another 2-3 months out.

But we are aware that things are not moving as quickly at the moment (something we are all too familiar with), so we are trying to manage our own expectations. And did I mention the annual court closure? Unfortunately, these "average" timeframes suggest that we have a pretty good chance of not getting a court date before the courts close for the rainy season (usually August-September), in which case we would not have a court date before October or November. In other words, eleven months into the process and a good possibility that we still have another 10 or more to go.

Wow.

Simon's entire adoption process only took about eleven months - meaning we have already spent more time working on this adoption than it took from the day we mailed our first application to Gladney until the day we returned home to NYC with Simon. That is hard to believe sometimes. In the grand scheme of things, our current expected timeframes are still pretty good by international adoption standards. And I really do have to say that I am finding the wait a lot easier the second time around. The ups and downs and bumps in the road not jolting us quite so much.... But still... seven months. Seven months when the "average" wait has been around nine months for most of the past year.... Well, it definitely changes things. I mean - we should be bringing our little girl home this year! Seeing her face in the next few months!! Buying little girl clothes... Setting up her room... Watching Simon transition into his role as a big brother... (praying EJ can handle yet another family member who needs our attention!)... Learning that our crazy and chaotic life is nothing compared to what's to come!

Yes, seven months is pretty cool. Even if we still have another seven (or more to go).