I can do it!!
Besides being one of Simon's favorite things to say (though not always entirely accurate, the statement can be used with everything from getting food out of the refrigerator to brushing teeth... putting on shoes and making breakfast... reading books and, apparently, driving a car...), I thought it was time I proved that I can still write a meaningful blog post. I can do it.
Of course, writing this blog is not as easy as it once was. Life is certainly fuller than ever... and there is surely more blog material floating around in my brain than I will ever be able to share. But time seems more scarce than ever. Managing a job, husband, and crazy dog seems infinitely easier than managing a job, husband, crazy dog and an almost three year old! Who knew the "power" of a toddler?!!?!
And frankly, I must also admit that I sometime get the sense that the only people reading this blog are the people who share the same last names as Ryan and me (not that we don't love you and want to share with you, but there's probably a better way!). Perhaps that's what happens after you've completed one adoption: the anxiety around the adoption process lessens, and so too does the need to be constantly surrounded by others going through it. Don't get me wrong. We continue to be amazed by and to learn from our fellow adoptive parents, but I don't feel as connected to the larger adoption/blogging community as I once did. Maybe that's just me, maybe it's just that my "generation" of adoptive parents are also struggling to balance it all and have less time for blog reading and writing, or maybe it's something else... I'm sure I'm not explaining this well, but the gist of it is that it sometimes feels harder to write a blog when I'm less aware of the audience than I was a year or two ago....
But anyway, here I am and here I go...
The posts are fewer and farther between, but the activity in the
guzo household is as hectic as ever. In the last few weeks, Ryan and I celebrated a wedding anniversary, took a getaway trip to Costa Rica, enjoyed Thanksgiving with family, reconnected with old friends, and... if you've been checking out the little lilypie ticker at the top of our blog, you'll know that we also recently passed the five month mark on the waitlist for a referral!
In 2008, the estimated wait for a referral was 3-5 months - with most referrals coming by month 4. Because things didn't go as expected (which actually should have been expected), we waited 5 months and one week for Simon's referral - which, by the way, is just about where we are today (5 mos., 6 days). When we passed the five month mark in 2008, I was emotionally drained and confused, trying desperately to rapidly re-set my own expectations around the adoption process in order to handle the new environment, to handle what we believed we had prepared ourselves for, but what was, in reality, something we could not have comprehended until we were living it.
Today, we are happily and comfortably looking forward, anticipating another 3-4 months (and, just to be safe, maybe 5-6) before we receive a referral and hoping that all will go relatively smoothly so that we can travel before courts close in the Fall of 2011. Piece of cake, right?
Sort of.
The four month... and now the five month milestones have been interesting. We are talking about the adoption again in the present (not the far away future) more than we have since we completed our paperwork. Even though we really do have a pretty long road ahead, it is short enough that we can start to anticipate the end. And it's fun. Even though the next few months will bring back a lot of stress and anxiety and anticipation.... and likely disappointment and frustration, it also brings back the excitement about expanding our family, the joys of thinking about buying new baby clothes and bedding and toys.... We can only smile when we imagine Simon's reaction to a baby sister. Our "baby" now such a little man. Of course, we also imagine the chaos, the even greater challenges of finding time to do pretty much anything, and the knowledge that our Costa Rica trip was properly our last "adults-only" getaway for a good year or two. (But hey, it's not about us, right?). And it is good. Really good.
So hopefully as we re-enter this phase of the process, we will also find ourselves becoming more engaged in the blogging process again. It was such an important part of Simon's adoption... I believe it may be again. And I know I can do it.
