By now, I've pretty much stopped counting the weeks since we were placed on the waitlist, as the passing of these weeks no longer seems to represent the fact that we are getting closer to a referral, so much as the fact that we have been waiting far longer than anticipated. I think we're at 21 or 22 weeks down now. Too many, if you ask me. Oh. And we exit the "window" this weekend.
But we are coping better these days. I guess you can get better at waiting if you have to do it long enough!!
Anyhow, I know I've been a bad blogger lately. I have to admit that detaching ourselves somewhat from the adoption process has been part of our coping mechanism. It's not that we've put our adoption out of our minds. I don't really want to do that and it wouldn't be possible, even if I did. But I'm actually pretty happy if I don't have to talk too much about it these days. Because... well... what more can I say?
So, we are throwing ourselves into other things (the hunt for a new apartment; a new travel venture...) and trying to make the most of this summer before it passes us by. And, hey, EJ is certainly enjoying the extra time as our only "child."
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Living on the ej: It's Summer!
ej here... i apologize to the fans out there for being out of touch for a couple of months.
But it's summmerrrrr! So, without further ado, the 10 best things about summer in NYC (from roughly 8" off the ground):
(10) waking up my peeps earlier for walks - the sun is out - so ry & mer... it's time to Goooooo!
(9) extra yummy treats to look for on the sidewalks - ice cream and sno-cone droppings, mmm
(8) more trips to the dog run, where I can chase tennis balls like a maniac (actually, get ry to chase me with the tennis ball, i have to do my part to keep my peeps in shape)
(7) speaking of chasing, squirrel-chasing in the park - one of these days, i'm going to catch one of those bushy-tailed varmints, one of these days... (then what? ummm...i'll get back to you on that)
(6) way less bad weather - being a low-rider and all, rain and snow isn't my thing, and while we do get the occasional thunderstorm, i can "go commando" and stay high and dry, well at least dry
(5) more daylight means more sunny spots in the apartment to plop down for a little nap
(4) mer & ry usually head off to whatever exotic new destination no one has ever heard of - WHO CARES - i get a week of indulgence at my grandparents, give me a T! Give me an R!....E.... A....T.... S - what's that spell? TREATS!!!!
(3) summer in NYC means more tourists, and more tourists means more people cooing and pointing and asking to pet me, more petting means more belly rubs, and belly rubs, well...need I say more?
(2) summer means shedding off some excess hair for that sleek sheen that impresses the ladies (i was thinking about asking for a speedo, but i'm more of a lounge-by-the-pool type than a swimmer, so maybe the board shorts look would be better? i don't know, i think i need my own stylist)
(1) And most importantly, summer is the perfect time to adopt a furry friend - try my birthplace - the ASPCA (didn't you know that my peeps are already adoptive parents?) Seriously. Do it. Owning a pet lowers stress levels. Trust me. :)
'till next time... Arf!
ej
But it's summmerrrrr! So, without further ado, the 10 best things about summer in NYC (from roughly 8" off the ground):
(10) waking up my peeps earlier for walks - the sun is out - so ry & mer... it's time to Goooooo!
(9) extra yummy treats to look for on the sidewalks - ice cream and sno-cone droppings, mmm
(8) more trips to the dog run, where I can chase tennis balls like a maniac (actually, get ry to chase me with the tennis ball, i have to do my part to keep my peeps in shape)
(7) speaking of chasing, squirrel-chasing in the park - one of these days, i'm going to catch one of those bushy-tailed varmints, one of these days... (then what? ummm...i'll get back to you on that)
(6) way less bad weather - being a low-rider and all, rain and snow isn't my thing, and while we do get the occasional thunderstorm, i can "go commando" and stay high and dry, well at least dry
(5) more daylight means more sunny spots in the apartment to plop down for a little nap
(4) mer & ry usually head off to whatever exotic new destination no one has ever heard of - WHO CARES - i get a week of indulgence at my grandparents, give me a T! Give me an R!....E.... A....T.... S - what's that spell? TREATS!!!!
(3) summer in NYC means more tourists, and more tourists means more people cooing and pointing and asking to pet me, more petting means more belly rubs, and belly rubs, well...need I say more?
(2) summer means shedding off some excess hair for that sleek sheen that impresses the ladies (i was thinking about asking for a speedo, but i'm more of a lounge-by-the-pool type than a swimmer, so maybe the board shorts look would be better? i don't know, i think i need my own stylist)
(1) And most importantly, summer is the perfect time to adopt a furry friend - try my birthplace - the ASPCA (didn't you know that my peeps are already adoptive parents?) Seriously. Do it. Owning a pet lowers stress levels. Trust me. :)
'till next time... Arf!
ej
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
nineteen
Today marks nineteen weeks on the waitlist.
Admittedly, I didn't actually think we would reach this milestone; certainly I hoped that we would not. But alas, we have.
The good news is that somewhere between weeks seventeen and nineteen, the wait has gotten... well... perhaps not easier exactly, but calmer. Although there is nothing we crave more than the day when we will receive "the call" and have the opportunity to learn about and see pictures of our son, we are learning to be more patient.
Of course, with all this time to wait, we have lots and lots of time to think about this process and what it means to us....
I had started this blog for a few reasons: it is a wonderful way to be able to share our experience with family and friends; it has allowed us to meet and develop friendships with others who are also experiencing this process; and finally, and most importantly, it is a way to chronicle our experience, so that we can one day share with our son this amazing (and yet sometimes crazy and painful and challenging) journey.
There are so many things I hope my son will one day know about this experience and what it has meant to us. These are just a few:
Admittedly, I didn't actually think we would reach this milestone; certainly I hoped that we would not. But alas, we have.
The good news is that somewhere between weeks seventeen and nineteen, the wait has gotten... well... perhaps not easier exactly, but calmer. Although there is nothing we crave more than the day when we will receive "the call" and have the opportunity to learn about and see pictures of our son, we are learning to be more patient.
Of course, with all this time to wait, we have lots and lots of time to think about this process and what it means to us....
I had started this blog for a few reasons: it is a wonderful way to be able to share our experience with family and friends; it has allowed us to meet and develop friendships with others who are also experiencing this process; and finally, and most importantly, it is a way to chronicle our experience, so that we can one day share with our son this amazing (and yet sometimes crazy and painful and challenging) journey.
There are so many things I hope my son will one day know about this experience and what it has meant to us. These are just a few:
- The decision to adopt was one of the easiest decisions we ever made, but one of the hardest processes we have ever experienced.
- Even now, I have no doubt that all the challenges we face, tears we shed, days we wait... will all be so very worth it when we are one day united with our son.
- My excitement and enthusiasm for this adoption and parenthood has never waned.
- We will try, but we will not be perfect parents (hmm... maybe I shouldn't admit this to my child?).
- I have heard people say that becoming a parent makes you more patient, more open, more loving, more appreciative of life. I believe this is true of the process of becoming a parent as well.
- Our son is already in our thoughts, our dreams, our life.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
we're back...
...and better(??) than ever. Well, maybe not. But a little time in St. Lucia never hurt anyone.
So as we wait, we continue to experience a jumble of different emotions.
The practical side of me tells me to try to put the wait out of my mind for now, to focus on other things, to somehow pretend like this does not exist so that one day we will be pleasantly surprised when our caseworker calls to tell us we have been matched to a little boy. But anyone who has gone through this process - and probably anyone who has ever wanted a child at all - knows that that is simply not possible! If anything, the struggle to get through this process has only deepened our feelings, revealed just how much we do want to be parents and how invested we are already in a child whose face we have not yet seen.
Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we vent. Sometimes we say nothing. Sometimes we even laugh - because we need to.
And always we remember that it is worth going through every second of this journey - painful as it may be at times - in order to one day meet the child who is waiting for us.
(edited.3)
So as we wait, we continue to experience a jumble of different emotions.
The practical side of me tells me to try to put the wait out of my mind for now, to focus on other things, to somehow pretend like this does not exist so that one day we will be pleasantly surprised when our caseworker calls to tell us we have been matched to a little boy. But anyone who has gone through this process - and probably anyone who has ever wanted a child at all - knows that that is simply not possible! If anything, the struggle to get through this process has only deepened our feelings, revealed just how much we do want to be parents and how invested we are already in a child whose face we have not yet seen.
Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we vent. Sometimes we say nothing. Sometimes we even laugh - because we need to.
And always we remember that it is worth going through every second of this journey - painful as it may be at times - in order to one day meet the child who is waiting for us.
(edited.3)
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